I HateLove You
by Ou Matsurei
Summary: The scene is when Kazemaru decided to leave the soccer club... and leave Endou. But what was going on in his mind back then? What would've happened if he reavealed his true feelings towards Endou? Rare Kazemaru as seme fic.


_Frustrating... frustrating... so frustrating... everything is so frustrating! ... You... are the most frustrating of all... so frustrating!_

Everything around him just quietly allowed themselves to sink into the deep redness of the setting sun... a tiny sound "Pa", the balcony's door has been opened by someone, the boy ran, panting, towards him, "Ah... so you're here, Kazemaru! Everyone's looking for you..."

"...It's you, Endou." Ichirouta continued to sit on the ground with his back to him, not a single movement was made.

"Yeah, let's hurry up and go!" Mamoru still had on his usual cheery and optimistic self, while walking towards the front of Ichirouta. Ichirouta's head was lowered as if he was thinking deeply about something, his teal hair blocked his face, Mamoru couldn't see his expression clearly. "What's wrong? You look as if you have something to say? If you don't mind, why not tell me about it?"

"..." Ichirouta still didn't say a word.

"You don't want to tell me? Wow, you're so weird!" Mamoru played with his hair with a laughing tone, "But right now everyone is waiting for us, we can't let them worry too much, so we should hurry up and go back~"He rushed while grinning, tugging on Ichirouta's hand. Ichirouta thought for a moment, reached out his hand to grab Mamoru's, and stood up abruptly.

_When did this start? It feels as if whenever I see Endou's smile my spirits come back. Even though we knew each other since we were kids, but our lives don't really collaborate with each other. And then, that idiot, whatever comes out of his mouth is always soccer, soccer... it feels as if the reason why I'm standing here right now is because of this smile. But I don't think I'm suitable for this kind of team sport, that's why I didn't join the soccer club. Until... until I saw him carrying that big sign begging for more members, I couldn't help but feel the urge to help him... because of a sudden thought, I joined the soccer club, planning to help them until they get past the radar and leave, but when I finally noticed, I found myself not able to leave him that easily..._

"Yeah, we shouldn't let everyone worry..." Ichirouta raised his head, looking at Mamoru. Mamoru was startled for a moment, because, Ichirouta's gaze wasn't looking at anything, as if he was looking right through him and staring at something far away. Even though his mouth is curled upwards, but, it doesn't look one bit like a smile...

"You... are kind of weird today... are you still thinking about that lost match with Aliea Academy?" Mamoru put on his grin once again, pat Ichirouta's shoulder, as if trying to turn Ichirouta back to his usual self.

Ichirouta dodged away from Mamoru's hand which was placed on his shoulder, "Huh, you're always like this..." Then, he grabbed Mamoru's shoulder with both of his hands, pushed hard, making Mamoru fall down backwards onto the ground.

"Kazemaru, you..."

"No matter what situation it is you can still smile like this, no matter who it is you can still smile like this..." Ichirouta walked over to face Mamoru straight on, glaring down at Mamoru who had a horrified expression on his face. Why can you always smile, why, why... "That's why I, hate you the most!"

_Until now it was always his smile that encouraged me... so as if it was obvious, his smile belongs to me. I want his gaze to always be on me, I want to always walk with him together on the same path, I want to see his smile after claiming victory..._

"Kazemaru what's wrong with you, weren't we still fine at noon?" Mixed in Mamoru's grin, was the slight show of fear, "If I did anything wrong, you can just tell me... aren't we friends?"

"Ah... friends..." Ichirouta knelt down, the edge of his mouth still pointing upwards, "But I hate you... I hate you the most..."

Mamoru's eyes flew wide in less than a second, "Why?"

"I'm tired of this. You, and soccer too, it's all so tiring."

_Strong aliens keep appearing, there's no hope in winning in a match. I don't even have the strength to help him win anymore, the reason why he gets attention from others is obvious. I hate this so much... I hate my weak self so much... yes... this all has nothing to do with Endou, he didn't do anything wrong, the one in the wrong is me. I'm sorry, Endou._

The glow of the setting sun began to darken, the balcony began to get covered by the darkening night sky. "Don't you feel happy when everyone plays soccer together?" Mamoru obviously did not accept Ichirouta's words.

Ichirouta's palm touched Mamoru's face, the icy feeling made Mamoru shiver a little. "But Endou, I'm not as strong as you." The edge of Ichirouta mouth is obviously pointing upwards, but to Mamoru, that expression looks as if it wants to cry.

"Don't be like this, Kazemaru, as long as we work hard, and work even harder at training, we still have a chance of winning, right?"

"Ah... you're always this cheerful, that's why I hate you so much." The hand that was touching Mamoru's cheek gently slid down to his chin, then Ichirouta lift Mamoru's face up, forcing him to look straight at him, "If you did something hateful then we can't be friends anymore right?"

_It hurts, it hurts... so depressing... a useless person like myself, is so hateful... if I do this, then at least, he will start hating me, and then I can leave his side, and leave the soccer club._

A night has gone past. The next day when the others found Mamoru, it's already the start of episode 46.


End file.
